Boundaries for people who aren’t good with boundaries, Part 2. (Realize that you care most about you.)

Realize that you care most about you.

We are all our own harshest critics, but we all have our own best interest at heart, most likely more than anyone else.  In other words, you are responsible for making you healthy and happy.

The students are young and self-absorbed.  The other teachers are busy and self-absorbed.  The administration is distracted by data and self-absorbed.  The school board/city/state is focused on numbers and headlines and self-absorbed.

No one cares more than you that you didn’t sleep well last night, or for the past month, for that matter.  Or that you’re in a long-term fight with your spouse that seeps into all of your home life.  Or that you fell down while running four times in the past two weeks and bruised your ribs and can hardly breathe without wincing.  Or that you feel kind of bored and depressed with life and can’t seem to care about anything.  (Yes, this has been me at various points this past school year.)

Most likely, no one at school is going to make accommodations for you.  If you need them, make them for yourself.  Ask for help, or tell people your situation and what you are going to do about it.  Go to the doctor.  Take a few days off work.  Set up an appointment with a therapist.  Go on a short-term leave of absence.  Drop a committee.  Switch schools.  Or, adjust and be content.

The point is, I think that sometimes we wait and expect others to realize how miserable we are and change things for us.  Now, this has happened for me a few times in the past few years as a response to prayers, because I was too timid or indecisive to do anything about the issue, and God is gracious.  But it isn’t the norm, and I believe that there is a point at which God won’t necessarily change circumstances for us when we need to change them on our own.  Sometimes, we know best what we need.  And it’s okay to do something about it.

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